She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
