So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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