Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
