cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
