just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she smelled like a LAN party
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
