one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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