Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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