Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
this will be a night to untag.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
