i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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