Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
