Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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