having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she pinky promised me she was 18
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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