A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
