I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
