Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
My vagina just recognized that song.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
