I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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