the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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