You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
