i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
