seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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