i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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