you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
