great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
...so i touched it.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Randomize
