Is it normal to miss your booty call?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
