WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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