omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
