Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
