Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
