I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
