Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
