Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
