i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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