i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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