the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
