My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
this just has baby written all over it
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
