The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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