I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
