I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
