Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
