If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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