I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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