You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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