Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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