So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
