im drinking this country out of the recession.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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