It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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