my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My vagina is officially offended.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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