She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
