it was like eating out sand paper
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
