"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
