It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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