I cockslap morals
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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